Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.