A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.