When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.