I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.