I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Men are as faithful as their options.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.