I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.