But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Men are as faithful as their options.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.