I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.