I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I'm single because I was born that way.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?