I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.