In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.