Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.