I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.