Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
I'm single because I was born that way.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.