What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.