But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.