We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.