Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.