Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.