I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm single because I was born that way.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.