If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.