Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.