If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.