Men are as faithful as their options.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I'm single because I was born that way.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.