Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
I'm single because I was born that way.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.