I will not join any club who will take me as a member
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.