Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.