Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.