All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.