We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?