It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.