I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.