Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.