Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.