The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.