I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
Sex is an emotion in motion.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.