If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.