Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.