Men are as faithful as their options.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.