Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.