I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.