Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I'm single because I was born that way.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.