The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.