Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.