I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.