Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.