It is better to be alone than in bad company.

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.