Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.