Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.