I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.