Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?