But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I'm single because I was born that way.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!