Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.