All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
Men are as faithful as their options.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.