I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'