I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!