My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.