I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.