I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.