If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.