Sex is an emotion in motion.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.