Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.