Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.